Bill's Blog

the
Negotiator

I'm a Negotiator, So What!

At a recent Professional Speakers masterclass I made the statement "I can save and make you money" the terse reply some what shook me. "So what!" "What do mean so what" was my weak reply. "Lots of things can make or save me money why should I negotiate?" Well that got me thinking, was it all about money? Of course not, for me it was about satisfaction and fun oh and of course having money. Satisfaction on many levels the first what I am I worth. Am I worth what the company pays me? They entrust me with goods and services and others to look after. I wanted to be to be like the good retainer and multiply what the company had invested in me. I enjoyed that tired but happy feeling went I went home at the end of the day. It was satisfying to see people and assets grow. It was also about my self worth. I felt good about myself, balanced in some way. Negotiating helped curb my competitiveness. My friends and colleagues will tell you it helped limit the aggressive side of my

competitiveness. This is true. I win a lot more when I negotiate from a cooperative start point than from an aggressive one. It's another of life's little paradoxes. I deal regularly with competitive, aggressive negotiators (Cans). These people feel confident for sure, arrogant very probably and definitely superior to us lesser mortals. Cans are so easy to deal with, they have one dogmatic approach which is simple to circumvent. When I say easy to deal with it's easy but not always pleasant. I don't want you thinking that my life is scripted by "Disney" far from it. However using simple techniques like reflection, proposal seeking and seeking clarification turns their own aggressive behaviour back on themselves without you behaving like them. It's a truism that behaviour breeds behaviour which Cans rely on. After all they are expert at bullying, being forceful and taking a hard line approach. They often get their own way because people give them what they want rather than argue. Well now I don't argue I don't get angry I get even. Well actually I may be lying here because I may perchance get more than even depending on shoddily they are dealing with me. A favourite technique of Cans is to throw you a grenade right at the start of the meeting. The last thing they are expecting is for this grenade to roll back across the table and land in their laps. As a current television advertisement states "The look on their faces…priceless". Well you can now see I have moved from satisfaction to fun. People often ask me "Do you get bored negotiating all the time" no I don't I'm too busy having a good time. Just recently I walked into a boardroom and the Managing Director leans across the desk and says "I've heard about you Pal and let me tell you now sonny that this deal is non negotiable!" Now it didn't sound like he was my pal at all and "sonny" is in his late fifties with a mop of grey hair and a waist line that several inches wider than it needs to be. These irritators aside I simply asked for some clarification, "Just so it's clear to me Mr. M.D. which parts of the deal are non negotiable" The snarl factor dropped about 10% and he said "Well we are not moving on price and the dates are fixed." O.K. these are two key issues for him so let's leave them for now and come back to them when I think he's in a more conducive state. So I said in a cooperative tone "How about then we look at the scope of work and the deliverables you are looking for?" "Great idea because I want several key points covered when you do the training". Now it's obvious that if I believed his belligerent opening was gospel then I would have not achieved the deal I wanted. But it's also obvious that by being flexible I did achieve the deal I wanted. As my good friend Hannibal Hays quotes "I just love it when a plan comes together" Lastly let's look at money. I am not a millionaire and I live in a detached five bedroom house in suburbia which I own. I also own a 10 metre yacht and an executive car. I generally take four to five weeks sailing holiday in the summer and three weeks off over Christmas and the New Year. So I have by my standards a pleasant life style, and when the next person says to me I "why should I negotiate" I shall smile all the way to the bank and say "So what".

Have fun, Bill Boyd